Guest Blogging in bold black lettering on a spiral notebook paper, on a desktop with a cup of coffee, laptop computer, and other accessories.
By Allison Jonergin
Valentine’s Day is meant to be a special celebration of love between romantic partners. But suppose your romantic partner is disabled or chronically ill. How do you ensure the date is one they’ll be able to fully participate in and enjoy?
Let’s say you’re planning to cook a romantic meal. One idea is to ask your partner if there are any foods or beverages they cannot tolerate. Note: I don’t mean asking what their favorite foods are. But it’s best to rule out trigger foods before you hit the grocery store, especially if you’re planning to purchase any Valentine’s Day sweets.
Similarly, if you’re looking to share a restaurant meal, try asking if there are any restaurants that you should nix from your list before you make a selection. Personally, my needs are mostly dietary in nature. There is nothing I can eat at a Chinese restaurant, but I have plenty of choices at a seafood joint. Perhaps your date has other needs that require additional research and consideration. For instance, I’m able to walk from the car to the restaurant, and can sit at either a table or booth. But I get overstimulated in loud, bright environments, especially if I’m there for an extended period of time. A dimly lit, quiet venue would be my preference. Your partner’s needs may look different from mine. The restaurant you choose may need to be equipped with ample parking, accessible entrances, and tables and restrooms suited for wheelchair access. In that case, calling ahead to reserve a table might be your best bet.
My disability doesn’t qualify me to advise on every single disability out there and what accommodations may suit those who have them. I can only speak from the perspective I’ve formed based on my own.
It’s best if you speak candidly with your date about what they need to be able to enjoy the evening. Once you’ve learned their needs, do your research! If you care for someone and want to treat them to a romantic date, give yourself extra time to plan so when Valentine’s Day arrives, you’ll be able to focus on spending time together in a way you’ll both enjoy.
Allison Jonergin is a SUNY Plattsburgh alumna and North Country native. She suffers from multiple chronic illnesses including fibromyalgia, CFS/ME, endometriosis, irritable bowel syndrome and degenerative disc disease. She also has post-concussion syndrome, anxiety, depression and PTSD.
The North Country Center for Independence in Plattsburgh, NY is always looking for writing on disability-related topics by people with disabilities in the North Country. If you are interested in writing a guest post for the NCCI Blog, send an email inquiry or draft article to: apulrang@icloud.com.