When Migraines Hold Me Back

Guest blogging title with white 3-dimensional figure holding a giant pen

By Allison Jonergin

I debated whether or not to write this. I’ve been struggling lately with unbearable migraines, and just the thought of sitting down in front of my computer to write makes my head hurt even more.

This morning I traveled to Vermont, where I received more than 30 Botox injections in my forehead, scalp, neck and shoulders to prevent migraines. My Dad did the driving because I was in too much pain, especially after receiving my shots.

I also inject myself in my thigh with a different medication called Aimovig on a monthly basis. Together, these medicines allow me to function and enjoy life by reducing the number of migraines I experience and lessening how severe they are. I can sit outside in the sunshine, I can turn the radio up in the car, I can clank pots and pans together as I prepare meals.

By contrast, I haven’t been able to have a conversation in the last week without having to suppress my irritability, exhaustion, pain and frustration. My sensitivity to light and noise is sky high, so I hide inside when the sun comes out. I drive in silence, wearing polarized sunglasses.

In March, my doctor’s office closed due to the coronavirus, so my April appointment was rescheduled for July. Thankfully they had a cancellation and I was able to get in a few weeks earlier, because my migraines have been downright brutal. They have raged on day after day, becoming increasingly painful. At certain points, the pain was too great to bear. It felt like someone was lodging a pickaxe in my skull over and over. All I could do was wrap my head with an ice pack and cry into my pillow.

Going without my injections for a couple of months put some things back into perspective. First and foremost, I am incredibly fortunate to have access to medications that greatly improve my quality of life. I can remember just a couple of years ago when I wasn’t taking anything that helped with my headaches. Every waking moment was agonizing, and I don’t say that lightly.

Secondly and similarly, I don’t know where I would be today if I wasn’t prescribed medical marijuana two years ago. It has saved me in more ways than one, and during these past couple of months especially, it has been my sole lifeline. My hope is that the list of qualifying conditions will expand so that even more people can begin benefiting from it. Suffering from chronic pain is what qualified me to obtain a prescription, and even people with that diagnosis weren’t eligible until just a few years ago. As someone who has dealt with chronic pain for over a decade, I can’t help but wonder how much different my life would’ve been had I been able to use medical marijuana all along. Instead, I will focus on how grateful I am to have this medicine at my disposal, and how wonderful it is that I can continue to use it going forward.

Lastly, there is absolutely nothing so urgent it can’t be put off until tomorrow. Prioritizing my health and well-being has far greater benefits than completing an arbitrary checklist.

Allison Jonergin is a SUNY Plattsburgh alumna and North Country native. She suffers from multiple chronic illnesses including fibromyalgia, CFS/ME, endometriosis, irritable bowel syndrome and degenerative disc disease. She also has post-concussion syndrome, anxiety, depression and PTSD.

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